Lamb to the slaughter(linguistic)

Singapore Free Press – HEADLINES: Wife of police detective arrested after murdering her husband

Yesterday around evening time, the wife of police detective, Patrick Maloney, was arrested for murdering her husband. According to Jack Noonan, detective on duty, the accused, Mrs. Mary Maloney, had killed her husband with a frozen leg of lamb. Sounds weird? It is true, as said by Jack. “When Mary offered us the leg of lamb that she was going to cook for supper, I realised that the soup was stained with a tinge of red. Looked closer, and we realised that the leg of lamb also had red stains on it. When we took samples for testing, we discovered that the blood belonged to Patrick. Since Mary was the person who cooked the lamb, she was the prime suspect. Upon interrogation, she totally broke down and started sobbing hysterically. That gave her away,”said Jack Noonan. Still there was something missing, when we hired a local forensics scientist to look for clues. He deduced that the murder should have taken place before 6 ‘o clock as the blood stains were found to have clotted around that time. But according to local grocer, Mary Maloney still seemed pretty chirpy when she came down to buy her grocery. Obviously Mary must have been trying to cover up her tracks by acting natural.

After interviewing her neighbours, our reporter found out that Mary was a kind soul who would not even harm a fly. So what could have happened? Apparently. Patrick Maloney must have done something to provoke her and it must have been really serious to drive Mary to killing her husband. There are many possibilities but the most probable is that Patrick cheated on Mary. But why would Patrick leave his six month old pregnant wife? Why would such a well – to – do person do such a despicable thing? This how you can never judge a book by its cover. The future looks bleak for Mary as the sentence for murder is death. But then again she did have a good reason to murder her husband; will the court allow a milder punishment? Still it is too early into investigation to tell anything, but probably the deepest concern is the unborn child. Will Mary abort the child or will the child become an orphan? Stay tuned to the Singapore Free Press for more.